The Lord Gave Me 'Writer's Block' Today

I have been sitting in front of a blank screen for hours, since this morning, trying to figure out what the Lord would have me write today. I prayed yesterday that my writing would never become about me, or be for my glory. Here we are, one day into my goal of writing and publishing 5 days a week and it is now 5:30pm on a Tuesday, one day after I prayed that the Lord would be the driving force of this ministry and gift, and it’s already become about me and my challenge to myself.

After hours of blankly staring at the screen and draining my phone battery, I finally realized I just hadn’t spent enough time with Him to really know what He wanted to say to and through me today. So, I went to my “prayer closet” — aka, the side of my bed). The Lord literally gave me dozens of article ideas, some of which I found in my ‘Notes’ app, some came from going through memorization verses that I have been reciting daily. I came back to my office and sat in front of my computer… looked at the list of ideas the Lord had given me… and none of them were for today.

The Lord said, “just write Marcus.” So here I am; and here you are reading each word as I type each word. I have no idea where I am going with this, or where the Lord is leading me. This may mean absolutely nothing to you or anyone who reads this, but the cool thing is God is meeting me here, in this moment… with every word. I am completely dependent upon Him in this moment. I mean, this is uncomfortable. This isn’t my plan, or my idea — quite frankly, I don’t even know what is going on. I do know, this is the most amazing and intimate experience I have ever had writing.

Again, this may mean absolutely nothing to you. This “article” may mean absolutely nothing to me come tomorrow, but this moment means everything. In this moment I am being taught to lean and depend on the Lord, not in an abstract way, but in a very practical and tangible way. While reading this back, tomorrow, months, or years from now, it may not provide much in that moment. But in THAT moment I will be a better follower of Christ because of THIS moment.

There is much surrounding my life right now, that is “out of control” and “messy.” I have been subject to spiritual blindness of my sin for years. I lived in the Spirit, but I wasn’t walking in the Spirit. I want nothing more than to be a righteous follower of Jesus. I want to give Him every broken part of me and for Him to make something beautiful from it. It starts here, being completely dependent upon Him, for every word.

The Lord gave me writer’s block today — but it was for a purpose. He is doing something far more than writing this ‘piece.’ He is teaching me, He is leading me, He is restoring me, He is breaking me, He is maturing me, He is redeeming me.

You see, for so long I wanted to put forward the best appearance. The one where every “t” was crossed and every “i” was dotted (and in regard to writing I mean that pretty literally). The thing is, this isn’t about me though. It’s about Him. It’s about His glory. So I’m going to publish this and watch Him be glorified — if not for this “article,” then the next one. But it’ll be because of this moment, when I’ve let Him lead and direct and write every word.

The Lord gave me writer’s block today— but it was for a purpose.

Hallelujah and amen.

O Lord, open my lips, That my mouth may declare Your praise. (Psalm 51:15, NASB)

And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus. Now to our God and Father be the glory forever and ever. Amen. (Philippians 4:19–20, NASB)